A little A lot

I want to share something with you but I’m not sure what it is that I want to share. I feel uncertain all of a sudden. I don’t know how to describe it. I see people but I don’t. I’m smiling and laughing but my heart doesn’t really follow along to the beat of sound. I’m nodding and agreeing but I don’t know if I meant yes or no. I am a maybe and maybe there will be a miracle for me. I pray for the things I don’t believe in. I believe in getting the things I don’t believe I will ever get. I wish I wasn’t so confusing. I wish I could tell what I’m feeling because feeling uncertain is a really uncertain feeling. I’m tired but I can’t sleep. But I should sleep because I’m tired. I’ve lost senses to all things that make sense. Sometimes I wish I could clear my head and reset it. But we all know there is no start overs or do overs. There is only moving forward and pushing on until you’re so far away it almost feels like you’ve started over. I can’t erase the past. I can try to create the future but that takes work. Am I willing to work for it? I want to say yes because that the sensible and most reasonable response but my heart does not follow the same logical reasoning. I know a little can mean a lot but knowing a little doesn’t mean knowing a lot. 

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