Silence

Like the unforgivable night,

Silence.

Like the dark thoughts running in my mind,

Silence.

Like the bone chilling cold,

Silence.

Like the last breath it stole,

Silence.

Like the last chance to survive,

Silence.

Like there is no other way to life,

Silence.

Why does everything have to be this way?

Silence.

Why can I not say what I want to say?

Silence.

Why do I have to change to fit in? 

Silence.

Why do I have to fight for freedom? 

Silence.

Why won’t I have a chance at happiness? 

Silence.

Why is is so difficult to feel less worthless? 

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Nothing

At nine years old,
I wanted to end my life.
At nine years old,
I shouldn’t feel like this.
At nine year old,
I shouldn’t know what suicide is.

But thanks to you,
At nine years old,
I did.

When I was ten,
I realised you didn’t love me,
When I was ten,
You left a painful memory.
When I was ten,
I lay down in my bed,
With a teared soaked pillow,
Wishing again I was dead.
When I was ten,
I still believed in fairies,
When I was ten,
I thought my Prince Charming would rescue me.

All these years,
I’ve suffered your hatred.
After all these years,
I’ve been turned cold.
After all these years,
You’ve induced a monster in me.
All these years,
I’ve not had a single nightmare.
Because within all these years,
Reality has been my worse nightmare.

I haven’t held on to let go so easily.