Nothing

At nine years old,
I wanted to end my life.
At nine years old,
I shouldn’t feel like this.
At nine year old,
I shouldn’t know what suicide is.

But thanks to you,
At nine years old,
I did.

When I was ten,
I realised you didn’t love me,
When I was ten,
You left a painful memory.
When I was ten,
I lay down in my bed,
With a teared soaked pillow,
Wishing again I was dead.
When I was ten,
I still believed in fairies,
When I was ten,
I thought my Prince Charming would rescue me.

All these years,
I’ve suffered your hatred.
After all these years,
I’ve been turned cold.
After all these years,
You’ve induced a monster in me.
All these years,
I’ve not had a single nightmare.
Because within all these years,
Reality has been my worse nightmare.

I haven’t held on to let go so easily.

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